This is a personal post: Mainly in regards to an experience I had today that I wish to write about.
It is said that we as humans consist of mainly water, it is also said that in the cycle of life we end with becoming one with the earth upon our final resting. I was witness to this today in the most beautiful of ways.
My great aunt passed in 2005, my mother in 2006, and my grandfather in 2010. Since then I have held onto all of their cremation at my home, moving from Maryland to our summer home here in Florida. I since have had many major life changes and have now become a Firefighter, gave birth to an amazing baby girl whom my mother had a premonition of; to name a few.
After much procrastination we decided on placing the ashes of our beloved family members today on the calmest of days in the Gulf. In an undisclosed location near a favorite reef off of Englewood in the same waters I grew up swimming in, within sight of a beach that our family had frequented every year as far back as I can remember. We rode out the miles in our family boat that my mom had stood at the helm piloting years previous, and approached the final destination. We shut off the motors and began playing music suitable to her taste: “Diggin Up Bones” by Randy Travis, “Lucille”, “Walking” Patsy Cline, and “Green Beret” all songs that were favorites and or have some sort of family history.
The three of us, my father, daughter, and I stared into the vast bluish green that is the Gulf. We began to open and place the ashes of each loved one into the water in order of death. Each persons ashes created a change in water color that is something to only be described as beautiful. I had imagined that each one would slowly mix and dilute with the water upon entering but to my shock we had three separate distinct balls of discoloration in the water that seemed to gradually sink as it was absorbed back into the depths of the earth. As it sank the color of the water mixing with shimmering of the sun caused a glow, as to remind us of the spirit, memories, and heart being absorbed back to nature.
I was upset until the realization that this was closure and fulfilling the wishes of my family. I found the moment to be calming, and fulfilling in ways. I then removed brightly colored flowers from the console of the boat and each of us including my three year old daughter placed flowers on this spot for them. Even the dyed color from the flowers bled into the water as if being reabsorbed back into the earth. We sat for a few moments as the boat slowly drifted away from the location we had picked. As we watched the water lose the glow and become the status quo that is the Gulf.
I fired up the motors and began our journey back to shore feeling a weight lifted off me, knowing I can always look into the Gulf during my dive trips, sunsets, from shore and boat knowing my loved ones are within sight at all times.